Things I learned at Wicked Book Weekend Giveaway

Things I Learned at Wicked Book Weekend

Over 50 authors and over 300 fans gathered in Ft. Lauderdale for the 2nd annual Wicked Book Weekend. No matter if you came alone or in a group, everyone came away with new friends and amazing memories.
Here are a few of the things I learned:
1) No matter how much I deal with them, I am still blown away when authors actually speak to me. But in my room? Holy shit. I’m still tongue tied when it comes to one-on-one conversation and keep chanting in my head “I’m not worthy!” over and over.
(Harper Sloan, Tessa Teevan, me, Melanie Codina IN MY ROOM, just the first of many!)

2) Authors look nothing like their photos. Next time, stalk their pages beforehand so you know who the fuck you are talking to.

hello_my_name_is_huh I got no idea!

3) An event is only as good as the volunteers, and I had an amazing group of them! There is no way any of this would have happened without them.  I had 2, Tara and Kerriann show up out of the blue, and they worked their asses off with all of the other awesome volunteers. And Lori Stern. Damn, that girl is a machine!


4) Joanne Christenson…I’d marry her if I could.


5) This is the only place in the world I ever get to be Mistress Ana. And Fuck Book Friends will be my bitches, whores, subs, kitties and sluts, we even get sashes and tiaras.


…and they grab my boob…


6) A hotel bar CAN run out of booze. Girls away from their husbands and kids for the weekend can sure party! And party a LOT.

7) If you yell ‘Penis & Vagina’ over a loud speaker on a booze cruise with 120 women (and 5 men), nobody will hear you, except the 15 year old you didn’t know was there.

8) Women are hungry, dammit. You need to serve FASTER!

9) Apparently Megan is OK with me riding her.


10) Next time remember to get an author (all of them) and a volunteer picture, because both groups were amazing.

11) Expect the line for the half naked cover model to be a bit longer than the rest.


12) Ask someone to show their boobs to win a prize, and they will. Ask someone to find a guy with a tattoo, and they will grab any strange guy, even an author’s husband, throw them over their shoulder and run on to the stage.


13) I should try to remember to get my own books signed at my events, there should be one perk, right? Or should have sent one of my whores around with it.

14) 8 Vibrators racing down a track can be loud, much slower than I thought, but still entertaining, especially when yelled over a megaphone.

15) Meeting the friends you have been talking to for months online in person and liking them just as much as you thought is awesome.

16) Everyone loves a strap-on goat.


17) Vodka soaked gummy worms and gummy bears from Dawn Robertson are sticky, slippery little fuckers, yet 200 women and men will eat them off the same fork with no hesitation.



18) If you don’t point out the gorgeous candy table to a bunch of drunk fuckers, they won’t even notice it.


19) When the po po come to your room and find 50 drunk screaming women, they don’t know what to say. When you try to bribe them and ask them to take off their uniform and join the fun with a tiara on your head, they may not take your very seriously.


20) When the room crawl moves to the pool, my husband will race around like a loon to make a gigantic jug of Sangria so that the 50 thirsty whores (who have 500 shots) won’t get rowdy. It didn’t work.


21) Harper Sloan is my soul mate. She just doesn’t know it.

22) Penny Reid is Superwoman. Seriously. She has the suit and everything. And she made a meme of me, so I have no choice but to love her.


23) SM Donaldson has blackmail video of everything. Watch out for her.

24) There are too many pretty authors. I didn’t know we’d have more female cover models than male!

25) If you bring a coloring book of vaginas, make sure you have more flesh colored crayons, and for God’s sake, NEVER play Brown Eyed Girl!

Screen Shot 2014-03-15 at 1.37.23 AM

26) “Dawn Robertson’s Tits” and “Cooch Juice” can be the words of the night anywhere we go.


27) Smuffins are pretty awesome. And authors know how to have fun and be silly. The more fun they were, the more we want to read them!

Screen Shot 2014-03-15 at 10.46.20 AM

28) NEVER tag people in photos from Wicked Book Weekend, and never, ever look at photos of yourself.

29) Never leave out any of the items from Wicked Book Weekend for your kids to find, especially the stuff from Harper Sloan.

30) If you work your ass off and don’t sleep for 6 months, it’s worth it to give so many people an amazing weekend.

 Screen Shot 2014-03-15 at 10.26.05 AM

Wicked Book Weekend was something I swore I’d never take on again. But after hearing so many people have an amazing time…I am looking at dates for the next one!

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  1. Had an awesome weekend!!! Meet some great girls and made some life long friends in my roommates!!!!

  2. Kristen Kocher says:

    Loved hearing about and seeing pics of all the fun!

  3. Kimberly Grant says:

    I can’t wait for next year!!

  4. Keriann Hoover says:

    I love you and everyone I met at wbw. Tara and I are still convinced Dawn Robertson roofied the gummies. I’m positive I haven’t been that drunk in almost 10 years. Thank you and your hubby for all the hard work you put into such an amazing event, that I was honored to attend!

  5. Starla Lowry says:

    I had such an amazing time, really needed the break and the laughs and friends I made will forever be in my heart, thank you and your husband so much for this. I truly appreciate all the hard work that you put in. Starla

  6. Wow…great photos!

  7. Book my flight now cause I’m totally in for the next one!

  8. I had such a fabulous time! I’ve not laughed that much or that hard in a VERY long time! Thank you for ALL your hard work. I hope to see you next year!

  9. I hope you do another one because I’d love to get there next time! These photo’s are fantastic and I love seeing the authors we love so much having such a great time! Congrats on a successful event!

  10. Megan Delgado says:

    It looks like you guys had so much fun! I wish I could’ve gone and met all of those authors!! Hopefully I can make it next year 🙂

  11. My goal is to make this next year!!

  12. Phyllis Moroney says:

    Great photos!

  13. Alexandra A says:

    Wow, you had a blast!

  14. Thanks for the giveaway!! great photos!

  15. mia ellames says:

    OMG that looks so much fun! I hope one day that i’ll make it over from Ireland 😀


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    Things I learned at Wicked Book Weekend Giveaway